Practical funeral advice · London
How to choose a funeral director in London
You are allowed to compare funeral directors.
You do not have to choose the nearest company, the one somebody recommends first, or the first funeral director you speak to. Ask questions. Look at prices. Notice how clearly things are explained.
Use the checklistSpeaking to a funeral director does not mean you have appointed them. You can take a little time to decide who feels right.
Before you decide
A good funeral director should make things clearer, not more confusing.
You do not need to arrive knowing exactly what sort of funeral you want. A good funeral director should listen, explain the options, tell you what things cost and help you understand what needs to happen next.
Funeral companies can work very differently. Some are small independent businesses. Others are part of much larger groups. Some keep the person who has died in their own mortuary; others use facilities elsewhere. Some give you one main contact, while others divide the work between different teams.
None of those things alone tells you whether a funeral director is right for you. What matters is that you understand how they work before you decide.
Useful to know
Five things before you start comparing
You have more choice than people sometimes realise, particularly in London.
You do not have to use the nearest funeral director
You can choose a funeral director based elsewhere if you prefer how they work. Poetic Endings is based in Forest Hill and arranges funerals throughout London.
A hospital, hospice or coroner does not choose for you
You are free to appoint the funeral director you want. A recommendation can be useful, but it is still your decision.
You can speak to more than one company
Ask questions, request prices and see how each funeral director responds before committing.
You can ask where the person who has died will be cared for
The office or shop you visit is not necessarily where the person will stay. It is reasonable to ask about mortuary facilities and who will be caring for them.
You can compare prices before appointing anyone
Funeral directors must make specified price information available. Ask for a clear written estimate showing the funeral director's fees and the other costs you are likely to pay.
A practical checklist
Ten questions worth asking
You do not have to work through these like an interview. Pick the things that matter to you and notice whether the answers are open, specific and easy to understand.
Who owns the business?
Why it matters Some funeral homes that look local are owned by larger companies. Ask who ultimately owns the business and who makes decisions locally.
Who will be my main contact?
Why it matters Find out whether one person will guide the arrangements or whether you will move between different teams as the funeral progresses.
Where will the person who has died be cared for?
Why it matters Ask whether they will stay at the funeral home you are dealing with or be transferred somewhere else. If it matters to you, ask whether you can see the facilities.
How will they be looked after?
Why it matters You can ask what happens when somebody comes into their care, who will look after them, how dressing works, their approach to embalming and what is possible if you would like to be involved.
Will the person arranging the funeral be there on the day?
Why it matters Some companies separate funeral arrangers from the funeral director who attends on the day. If continuity matters to you, ask how it works.
Can I see the full costs before I decide?
Why it matters A professional fee on its own does not tell you what the whole funeral will cost. Ask for the likely total, including crematorium or burial fees and anything else you are considering.
Will you explain the options rather than give me a package?
Why it matters Ask which parts are necessary, which are optional and what can be changed. You should understand what you are choosing and what each choice costs.
What if we want to do something differently?
Why it matters If you are considering a church, natural burial ground, alternative venue, unusual vehicle, particular ritual or something you have not seen at a funeral before, ask early. The response tells you a lot about how flexible the funeral director is.
What happens if our plans change?
Why it matters Funeral arrangements often develop as people have time to think. Ask how changes are handled, how you will communicate and who you contact when another question comes up.
Do I feel comfortable with these people?
Why it matters Notice whether you feel listened to, whether questions are answered properly and whether you feel able to say no. You will be trusting this company with something important.
Independent advice
The Good Funeral Guide is worth reading
It is a genuinely useful independent resource if you are trying to understand how funeral directors work and what to ask before appointing one.
Its advice includes researching more than one company, understanding ownership, asking about care and mortuary facilities, comparing prices and finding out whether there will be continuity through the arrangements and the funeral itself.
Read the Good Funeral GuideA useful principle
Do some research before you appoint anyone.
Look at the people behind the company, not only the branding.
Ask where and how the person who has died will be cared for.
Understand the full cost, not just one headline fee.
Ask who will actually be with you through the arrangements and on the day.
How Poetic Endings works
Ask us the same questions
If you are considering Poetic Endings, you should expect clear answers from us too. This is how we work.
Who owns Poetic Endings?
Poetic Endings is owned by Louise Winter, its founder and a funeral director. Louise founded Poetic Endings and remains closely involved in the funerals we arrange and the way the company is run. She was formerly editor of the Good Funeral Guide and is co-author of We All Know How This Ends. Read about Louise Winter.
Where will the person who has died be cared for?
At our funeral home in Forest Hill, where we have our own mortuary facilities. Visits to the funeral home are by appointment, and we will explain how somebody will be cared for.
Who will look after the arrangements?
You will have a funeral director guiding the arrangements, with support from our small team. You should know who you are speaking to and who is responsible for what.
Will you be there on the funeral day?
Yes. We are there on the day for every funeral we arrange.
How do choices work?
We will explain the options. A funeral can be traditional, modern, simple, religious, non-religious or something less conventional. We can arrange funerals at crematoria, churches, natural burial grounds and alternative venues across London.
How do costs work?
Our main services and prices are available online. Once we know what you are considering, we provide a written estimate showing our fees, your choices and the third-party costs we know about.
What if we are not sure what we want?
That is normal. You do not need a finished plan before speaking to us. We can start with what matters to you, what needs to happen next and the decisions that actually need making now.
Things to notice
When it is worth asking another question
None of these automatically means a funeral director is unsuitable. They are simply good reasons to understand a little more before you decide.
It is difficult to work out who owns the business.
They are reluctant to say where the person who has died will be cared for.
You cannot easily find the required price information.
The quote does not make clear what is included and what will be charged separately.
You feel pushed to make decisions before you are ready.
You cannot get a clear answer about who will oversee the arrangements or who will be there on the day.
Your questions feel inconvenient.
If you are comparing
See how Poetic Endings works in practice
You can ask us questions before deciding
Tell us what has happened and what you are thinking about. We can explain what happens next, what the options are and what things may cost. You do not have to have everything worked out before you get in touch.
Independent · Members of SAIF and the Association of Green Funeral Directors · Recommended by the Good Funeral Guide and Natural Death Centre